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Power Struggles with a Young Child? Try a Song

Having a song for certain tasks can really help kids get into the rhythm of their work. Here are some suggestions.

Last week I wrote about the benefits of having kids do chores in the home, along with a list of age appropriate tasks. “Beneficial.” “Age-appropriate.” It all sounds great. But on any given sleep-deprived, over-stimulated, or similarly realistic day, to get your kids to do anything at all can be work.

Cut to my 6-year old whining that her knees suddenly hurt so she can’t put away her laundry (really, her knees?), or my 2-and-a-half-year old crying to the carpet about getting herself dressed. Yes, it is indeed a glamorous life we parents lead.

I’ve talked before about how much breaking out into a sudden story can help younger kids move through such power struggles:“Did I ever tell you about the time…?” In the same way, having a song for certain tasks can really help get into the rhythm of their work.

So much of getting things done has to do with being in a regular rhythm of the thing. So if every night you sing the same song at cleanup time, it is all that much easier to get into it—it’s just what we do at this time. Also, the singing distracts and moves time along in a joyful way that makes the work less noticeable.

One of our favorite chore songs is one that goes along with the movements of folding laundry. It’s called Butterfly High and we first learned it in a parent-tot class at my daughters’ Waldorf school, The Sanderling School. It’s done with one person (adult or child) on either side of a piece of laundry that needs to be folded, say a towel, each holding two corners. As you lift the towel high in the air, you sing:

Butterfly high, butterfly low,” bring the towel down.

Wings together, we fold like so,” both step towards one another, bringing corners together as hands meet.

Then start again until the square is folded small enough.

Butterfly high, butterfly low…”

Our clean up song is another standard, when it begins, it’s almost as if our bodies just can’t resist bending to the floor to pick things up and find their home. Once again, it’s a Waldorf song, and it goes:

I saw a very dusty gnome,

Who said it’s time to clean our home.

Time for toys to take a rest,

It’s clean up time let’s do out best.

Dust, dust, dust,

Clean. Clean, clean.

Clean our home.”

At other tidying times, or when a toy needs to be put down, I borrow from a set of tones we learned in a great Music Together class when my eldest was a baby. To my untrained ear it sounds like two steps on a scale and goes, “Bum-bum.” This is the sound toys make when getting put back in their home. It’s perfect that it’s two beats, too, because your hand is usually moving from your body outward into the toy-bin, shelf, basket, etc.

For clearing the table we use the old nursery rhyme, This is the Way, but we sing: “This is the way we clear our plate.” This can be used for absolutely anything: “This is the way we brush our hair...This is the way we put on our pants, etc.”

A specific sticking point in our house has always been putting on sunblock, something we do in this day and age in Southern California constantly. So I made a special song up that helps it move along:

“Sunblock, sunblock protects us from the sun.

Sunblock, sunblock, protection everyone.

It’s the sunblock, sunblock, sun.”

That one’s silly enough for you to see that really the song can be just about anything. You can even borrow melodies from the good ol standards like Row, Row, Row Your Boat, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Perhaps there’s something that’s a power struggle at your place of late? Just give it a try, make up a simple line or two, add a tune and start singing it next time your child begins to balk. You may just find their amazement at you breaking into song is all it takes to get the task done. 

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Khari Johnson (Editor) May 17, 2013 at 03:36 pm
He's on vacation.Read More http://imperialbeach.patch.com/groups/politics-and-elections/p/city-council-oks-30-million-budget-for-20132015
caesarina keri May 17, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Nope..he's a Public Figure...and as such must be accessible to us...and actually should be......asRead More it is he is unable to be found..never holds public hearings to give his assessment on what's happening with this Grand Jury thing or about anything. So I guess now we know where he is. Hey Mr Mayor, mind telling us what your hours at The Plank are so we might approach you about our concerns ....sounds like what we used to call in the Air Force a ROAD (Retired on Active Duty)
frogy May 17, 2013 at 09:38 am
I am not a big fan of our mayor but I think this is a real invasion of the Janney's privacy.
Marcus Boyd May 16, 2013 at 03:55 pm
And comment links no longer work... That's going cause less spam, and negatively effect SEO!
www.SouthBayDriveIn.com
Mary Vollrath May 20, 2013 at 10:51 am
Fayette, this is the South Bay Drive In Theater that is being discussed, not the Big Sky which isRead More long gone ( in the 1980's). The South Bay has been there since the 60's. It is still under the same overall ownership.
Fayette (Davis) Driskell May 19, 2013 at 12:36 pm
am glad to hear that an "old" meeting place is being re-born..between the Big skyRead More Drive-In, the movie "downtown" at 9th & Palm, the skating rink at about 15/16th & Palm, & George's Drive-In at 13th & Palm, many IB'rs were kept busy on Fri/Sat nites..these were the big hang-out spots of many of us..they kept us busy, we had clean fun, & we stayed out of trouble..I wish the new owners the best of luck..but to the snack bar..ya gotta have those big fat pretzels with hot cheese sauce..:)
Mary Vollrath May 16, 2013 at 02:01 pm
Doubt it will cut through fog!
Where in IB is this?
Marcus Boyd May 18, 2013 at 09:52 am
It's on the west side of the new American Legion building. At first glance it reminded me of myRead More last duty station, the USS Independence CV-62...
Marcus Boyd May 18, 2013 at 09:49 am
Nice! You obviously know your multi-unit building code...
Ed Kravitz May 17, 2013 at 07:42 am
OUTSIDE A BUILDING THAT HAS TWO HOT WATER HEATER OVERFLOW VALVES AND DISCHARGE LINES. PROBABLY ANRead More APARTMENT BUILDING OR OTHER MULTI-UNIT BUILDING?
Khari Johnson (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 04:33 pm
Thanks, Nancy. It's always nice to hear from you. The new site is easier to use but emailRead More khari.johnson@patch.com if you have any questions, need help or want to share a news tip.
Marcus Boyd May 16, 2013 at 02:05 pm
Then, yesterday - throughout the day - one client after another said they were pulled over forRead More everything from fix-it-tickets to scratching their head(accused of talking on a NON-EXISTENT CELL PHONE!!!)
Marcus Boyd May 16, 2013 at 02:03 pm
I agree, except what made me notice the motorcycle cops was one running a stop sign and me having toRead More slam on my brakes to avoid hitting him... Then he proceeded to run a stop light to pull someone over...
Marcus Boyd May 16, 2013 at 02:02 pm
@JohnGalt "Stopping at a Stop sign is usually a good idea."
Frank H. Robles May 15, 2013 at 06:51 pm
No southwest state is looking forward to the Fire Season, were all short of fire funding Funds...!!!
Ed Sorrels May 14, 2013 at 05:55 pm
Forcing the blame back on the court's for the release of these felon's will not solve the problemRead More tho, A workable answer is to de=criminalize all state marijuana laws and release all those convicted of marijuana except thos ewith a conviction for distributing over 10 Lbs. Then take all those with federal convictions and drop them off at a federal court for them to deal; with ! We can not afford to keep minor marijuana prisoners in state jails any longer. These tow actions would make all the room we need in outr state prisons !
Erika Lowery April 11, 2013 at 07:23 pm
Candy, Spriggs and Patton are supposed to be researching a Youth Advisory Committee (including aRead More name with a better acronym). Sign me up for a Youth committee. With 3 kids, from teen to toddler, I have a very vested interest in keeping activities for all ages. Plus Marc wants on. As a teen he can be a leader to younger kids - like he is in Coronado. It is just those of us who want to work for our city's betterment, seem to be shot down.
IB Candy '74 April 11, 2013 at 07:01 pm
I agree!
IB Candy '74 April 11, 2013 at 07:00 pm
Why can't the Sportspark offer the same type of programs that the YMCA does? I think it would beRead More great for the City to have have a Parks and Rec's Advisory Committee. The advisory committee could help the rec center establish some new programs and apply for the 1000's of grants available out there. Lets not forget about the over 800 people in IB who signed a petition and still want a dog park. What about the need for a park in the Oneonta area? A Parks and Rec's Advisory Board could help council with funding and also take some of the work load off of staff. This wouldn't cost the City a dime, sounds like a win-win to me. If the advisory board had some dedicated volunteers, they could establish themselves as a non-profit and apply for grants themselves and help the City pay for these projects. That would free up money in the general fund and allow us to keep our Sportspark, Skatepark and Little Leagues to ourselves. Out sourcing should be our last resort.