Hansell and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Jeri Jacquin, Movie Maven

Opening in theatres this Friday from director Tommy Wirkola and Paramount Pictures comes a classic with a twist for HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS.

This film tells the story of Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and his sister Gretel (Gemma Arterton), a brother and sister team who pride themselves on being witch hunters. Losing their parents at an early age the help find children that go missing. In the small German town of Augsburg they make a stand.

Quickly Hansel saves the red haired woman Mina (Pihla Viitala) who is being accused of being a witch by the local law. Hansel and Gretel check her out and she doesn’t show any signs of being a witch. Both quickly announce that the Mayor wants them to find 11 children that have gone missing.

That’s when Muriel (Famke Janssen) becomes their next problem. Calling herself a Grand Witch she is waiting for the next blood moon to make all witches invincible – with the help of Gretel’s heart!

They both need to discover the secrets, take on Muriel and save the children to keep their rep!

FINAL WORD: Renner as Hansel spent more time on his rear end than one would think. I mean he’s suppose to be an almighty witch hunter right? Yet, every time he gets around these witches he walks away with serious injuries. How did he become a witch hunter? Yes, the gals will get a moment where he takes his shirt off – I guess that will have to do. It’s hard to watch this after seeing his awesome work in THE HURT LOCKER and THE TOWN.

Arterton spent as much time as “brother” on her rear end. Even with her weapon she spent more time shooting arrows than hitting their mark! I was none to thrilled to see her get beat up by a group of “law enforcement” and noticed the crowd wasn’t all to happy with that either.

Janssen as Muriel gets a chance to morph and push people around. Her role is pretty easy to figure out. An interview she gave in 2011 said she took the role to pay off her mortgage – yea, I could have guessed as much. It looked like she was having a good time anyway!

Viitala as Mina was sweet and she gets the glorious pleasure of being naked for a bit as Renner’s brief chance at a love interest.

Other cast include: Peter Stormare as Sheriff Berringer, Bjorn Sundquist as Jackson, Rainer Bock as Mayor Engleman, Thomas Scharff as Father, Kathrin Kuhnel as Adrianna, Joanna Kulig as the Red Haired witch, Ingrid Bolso Berdal as the Horned Witch and Derek Mears as Edward.

TUBS OF POPCORN: I give HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS two and a half tubs of popcorn out of five. It has everything that will lure audiences in, except heart, which is seems to spend a lot of time ripping out. The 3D is horrendous or maybe it was the glasses, which were weird to say the least.

The film is basically what is to be expected of all the films that are trying to re-write fairy tales. They add grit, take fairy tale license, leather outfits, a few weapons and one-liners with a ton of CGI and boom – there’s the show. Is it Sunday yet so I can watch DOWNTON ABBEY?

In the end – it’s a classic tale with a new twist.